you never can begin to live until you dare to die...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

I puzzle like a typical teenager...

...Caring way to much about which 'box' I can fit into.

Tomboy? Sensitive? Artistic? Dramatic? Saucy? Sweet? A wit? A fun-lover? Mature? Intellectual? Outgoing? Contrary? Spontaneous? Logical?

All these things and their opposites-- I think about them often. I obsess about how I want to be perceived.

Why do I obsess about the one-word boxes? As soon as I find one that I think fits and that I like, I outgrow it and begin to hate it.

It's an addicting little past time, to be sure, boxing myself up in inspiring words. I'm not sure I'll leave it entirely. I hope some of my little box words will always fit, like, "Adventurer." In fact, I have a growing list of them on my sidebar.

But the little boxes are not the final word. I won't let them become such a defining aspect of me that I can't grow... can't just be.

I sometimes find it hard to distinguish what I want to be with how I currently am. I think this is what is so exciting about the word boxes. It's like setting a goal for yourself and then becoming it.

In many ways, I think that's just a large part of being a teenager, and I'm not supposed to abandon the process absolutely.

My. My Logic teacher ---that is to say, my textbook--- would be frowning at me at this point. I've made several fallacies in this rambling, I'm sure of it. Even more circles.

Usually I try to pride myself of being coherent. Oh well.

Rambling ends here.



Rachel Pettersen said...

Gray, I think this is quite coherent! I also think that you have hit something very important here. Putting ourselves in 'boxes' is a hard thing to give up, isn't it? Well, you have helped me realize that I do this far too much. Thank you!

Danielle Elizabeth said...

That was great! :)
Hope to see you soon. I miss you!
~ Danielle Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

I love your litle pictures and labels on the side. I think I'll have to do something similar. :)

~Haley (Christine)